The Dog Show

Is it weird that I'm excited to watch the dog show coming up on the 14th? I think it reminds me of some awesome people...My Grandpa Morgan, my brother Jeff and little Emma Deveraux who always checks to see if I have it scheduled to watch.

But most of all, it makes me miss MY little champion at home: Tinker'Belle'
This is one of the first moments I met her:
She was SO teeny:

But there was nothing teeny about that instant connection:

And now she's all grown up:

Although, she's still the Princess and owns the whole house (even the furniture) and still fiesty:


And she thinks she's a Lab:

But I still love her so so so much:

That Frown Has Been Turned Upside Down

Today has been a GOOD DAY PEOPLE!

I feel so much better (no sickness, no grogginess from meds, no dizziness, no mucus!)

I'm so grateful for my Happy Music. It does a body good. My Mom is right..."just keep singing." (That's another post for a later date.)

I'm still alive. I'm still breathing. I'm still surviving Interior Design and LOVING kitchen design :)

ALSO, my faith has been restored in M.E.N.

I had a sweet guy (pretty cute) offer to carry my books home. (Maybe I was an idiot to refuse, but I was almost home.... ?!)

Today a cute guy (pretty cute) smiled at me on campus.

And, I've been making some new guy friends that aren't afraid of me. (I think.)

It all goes to show - how much a SMILE can do :)

Heaven Help

I'm sick of the 'cry yourself to sleep' nights.
The tossing and turning.
Shouldn't I just be happy with what I am?
I feel like part of me is missing.
Songs make sense.
My brain wraps and twist and pulls at every verse.
I'm sick of 'picking it apart.'
I hate this emptiness.
Is it echoing in here?
I'm sick of searching.
Hermits live inside, alone.
It's safe in here.
No one can ever hurt you.
Nothing interests me.
I make my own choices.
I make my own mistakes.
People really do die of broken hearts.
I've felt it.
I'm sick of it.

How Does One Handle Betrayal?

Maybe I'm feeling sorry for myself.
Maybe it's because I'm sitting home alone, again, on a weekend.
Maybe because it's been a weird/ironic weekend.

A few years ago, I dealt with a situation that broke my heart.
I know now, that things are the way they were meant to be.
It's taken me a long time to completely 'get over' those
feelings. When I dealt with this situation, I felt so betrayed.
This person was my best friend. My heart had been ripped from
my chest. I had a hole a mile deep and it often hurt to breathe.
Time passed and continued. I pushed forward. No matter how much
it hurt.

Over time that hole has healed, but not completely. It would
occasionally get raw around the edges with reminders and memories,
but it started to heal.

This last summer, I thought this hole could be completely filled.
To the point of over-flowing. And, in a split moment - it happened again.

All of a sudden, all these feelings came slashing and clawing their
way back into their hole. Deep inside my chest.

HOW in the world does someone deal with this?! I'm realizing that
this is what the Book of Mormon talks about when it mentions
'hardening of your heart.' Our very own Pres. Kim B. Clark gave a
talk recently about that. Poisons like betrayal seep deep inside
our hearts, twisting its way inside you and hardening the muscles.
To a point where you can't feel anything. You become completely
desensitized and unfeeling.

Nowadays, it is a constant battle for me to keep the poison from
taking hold and seeping deep.

Catch Up

Happy 90th Post.
I'm sitting alone on a Friday night. Alone.


Wow.


Yes, I'm doing homework ....... and blogging.



BUT, I decided to take a few minutes and update the blog since several things have been going through my head. Let's discuss these few topics.

Topic #1 - USHERING. Did I mention that I am so blessed to attend such an amazing university?! I volunteer each week to be a usher at Devotionals on campus.

It is such a blessing to listen to words of prophets and the Lord's servants. I've been unable to attend for two semesters in a row now. But, to serve AT THE SAME TIME...makes such a difference. I'd forgotten how much I need service in my life. What are your favorite service opportunities?

Topic #2 - AT Devotional this last week, Pres. Clark talked about taking things "One day at a time." It's so interesting that the Lord tells us what we need to hear exactly when we need to hear it.

Topic #3 - Switch gears. Let's picture: All four roommates. Jessica, (slightly grumpy after a HORRIBLE, No Good, Very Bad Day of frustrating homework and classes, rude people at work and not feeling 100%) Amie, Angel and Staci! We're being silly (sort of a 'let down' after all the uptight feelings) on our way to deliver cookies to friends. There happens to be a mountain of snow inside the car wash that all these friends live by and you guessed it....

THIS WAS ME! I now have an ENORMOUS goose egg type blue and black WOUND below my left cheek! We laughed. (I laughed AND cried at the same time) Staci almost wet herself. I actually was really lucky not to break my tail bone. It's ironic that I NEED ice to heal an injury I sustained FROM ice. Any of you had any funny 'falling on ice' moments lately you'd like to share?!

Topic #4 - Switching gears is fun. But I guess it's related. [Earlier in the day.]
Due to THIS:

I was emotionally drained. I was not even the person taking the crap on the other end. My manager Stephanie was. (And, she did a fantastic job!) But, there was so much tention. We talked about Pres. Monson. He recently talked about kindness and we determined that yes, you can NEVER be too kind. This caused me to take a second look at how I treat other people around me. Any kindness moments we'd like to share?! Or how someone being kind to you has blessed you?!

Ok - enough regurgitation from me. Let's hear from all of you!

I Heart This!

These kinds of things make me SOOOO excited.

Can you Feel the Love Tonight?!

Did I also mention....that I LOOOVE my job?! I work with some of the greatest people and we work hard. But we also play hard :)
This is my Maddi getting 'proposed' to. It's funny because of our recent slogan "The Marriage Guarantee." Many people were thinking Oh really? You'll guarantee that I'll get married if I live at a Rexburg Housing property?! NO! It's not complicated....It just means you can save more moola by signing a multi-semester contract and if you decide to get married, we'll release you from your contract! (plus a few more happy & simple requirements.)

New Perspectives. New Thoughts.

My good good friend and former roommate Justine sent this to me over FB the other day. It's a different look on things and very close to what I believe.

The Year in Recap Mode

-Spent the 2010 New Year in my little apartment and with my roommate Amie. I decided to start collecting bottle caps from every year from now on. (We heart Martinelli's)
-I started my second semester as a Freshman in the Interior Design department and also finished my Freshman year then started my Sophomore year.
-Went through one year mark with my first missionary brother. Went through the paper process and prep for second missionary brother.
-Went through another crazy and fun yet disappointing relationship.
-More time lapsed by since I didn't get to dance or choreograph.
-Grew and learned more about myself but also to appreciate missionaries more.
-Spent a summer trying my wings in my own business. (It's a lot harder than you think.)
-But in the process, found something I LOVE to do and a way to express my creativity.
-Strengthened my testimony.
-Adventured to the gym for the very first time. And learned to enjoy it.
-Visited Yellowstone again....haven't been for awhile and forgot how much I love it there.
-Learned that I LOVE anything to do with sustainability. "Reduce! Reuse! Recycle!" ALLLSO - Universal Design. MAYBE one day - I can make a difference in someone's life if I can survive school and learn all I need to learn.
-Learning more and more how to deal with anxiety. only to learn that one of my best friends deals with it too. She is such a strength to me. Mandi- I love you. I hope I can be a good mom like you one day.
-Entered my first photography contest. Results to come now that its the new year.
-I've also learned that photography could potentially become an outlet for me.
-I also started BLOGGING! :)

This year I spent ringing in the 2011 year with my good friends (why must I say friends when they really are just like family) the BASCOMS.
I marveled in how our lives have changed. We haven't had the chance to be together the last few years. 3 of the 10 kids (between the Bascom/Adamson clans) are married and have added spouses and 3 grandkids to the mix. The 4th on the way :) Devin and Kirsten are expecting their first. Korbin is getting so big. Noa and Brody are already best buddies at six months and only a few weeks apart. I'm so glad I get to say I know Jamison (Tiffany's husband) who is serving our country right now in Iraq. Tiff - You are doin a kick butt job as a mom. You and Jamie are my heros.

That's a quick glance at the past. But Pres. Hinckley used to say - "Press forward. The best lies ahead." Hopefully this year will hold some new things for me. Maybe I'll learn to become a better person.