A) - I'm slowly trying to be rid myself of Facebook. I spend too much time on something unworthy of my time. Blogging, I've found is a place for me to explore my feelings. Write things out and keep track of things. THUS - all the recent posts on the blog.
B) - Saw Step Up 3 with the roommates tonight. Probably shouldn't have because of all the homework left undone...but did anyway. Such a great release. I LOVE dance! I miss expressing myself that way. My body screams from within when there's no way for anyone to understand how I feel. Angry, ecstatic, lonely, flirty, etc, etc. I've not quite found that expression in Interior Design. There's no out put for me in Design. YET?! I'm only feeling stressed. Yes, I enjoy it. But, i don't feel expressive yet. I need that. Does ANYONE out there understand that?! Those dancers are so passionate about dance. I want to feel passionate about what I do. I've often thought about photography. Would photography make me feel that way? For now, I'm committed to design.
Jess - I do understand. My mom likes to say that all creative people are a little "mad," just like Raoul in Phantom of the Opera says to Madame Giry as she is explaining where the Phantom came from. She defends him saying that he is pure genious, to which Raoul replies, "Yes, but clearly genious has turned to madness." Creative people all run on the same basic need - the need to create, to express, feel, and be felt. You are not alone! I think this blog is a wonderful way to express yourself, but the physical need is real too. I would look into taking a dance class if you can - not necessarily on campus, but some sort of dance. There is a girl I went to school with that has been very frustrated with the fact that she isn't dancing either, and so she is creating a group of "old" dancers like you and me to get together and just dance for fun. The goal is to take turns teaching and doing choreography and just enjoy the experience. I know you are super busy with your school work, but maybe there are others out there that would respond to something like that. Maybe you could find a place that you guys could all get together and rotate teaching and dancing just for fun. Either way, whether you do it or not, the need for a creative outlet is completely understandable. I feel it all the time. I love my job - but as far as creativity goes - blah. Anyway Jess, I just want you to know I love you and that you are not alone. You are an incredible girl with so so so many talents! Explore them. I love you!
ReplyDeleteD- I'm so grateful for your insights. I'm definitely going to look into that suggestion. It's hard to balance all of life's challenges. Thanks for bringing a little sunshine into my day. :) I love you.
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